Death to Meetings!

Here at Worklejerk, one of the central themes is wasted work time equals wasted life time.  As JSG has touched on, a good chunk of people spend a huge percentage of their time “working” (or Option C as it’s known around these parts).  While Option C is extremely frustrating, at least one can maintain an image of productivity while reading online/writing blog posts/making silly comics/etc.  One place that gets quite a bit harder: meetings.

Do me a quick favor: try to ballpark how many meetings you’ve averaged per week the last couple weeks.  Multiply that number by a standard meeting length (say 1-2 hours).  That’s how much of your life is gone, with little or nothing to show for it, EVERY WEEK.

What do meetings accomplish?  Does one come away from them inspired, ready to pound their respective pavement with a renewed sense of conviction?  Or have they gleaned helpful nuggets of information that could not be conveyed other than in person among a group of their peers?

95% of the time I miss a meeting, I email my boss asking if I missed anything.  His usual response: “No not, really” or at best: “Yea, there was this one thing, I’ll email you the info.”  Almost every meeting I’ve ever been a part of the contents could have easily been covered with a quick email.  Even if it was important to discuss a topic or two, those portions of the meeting usually took up a tenth of the meeting.  (Remind you of anything?)

Point is, meetings are quite possibly the biggest waste of time in a world of wasted time.

Crap! Gotta go, it’s almost my turn to talk about my made up forecast!

-st

Yes, You Started a Small Business. No, You Are Not CEO.

CEO Comic

We’ve all seen it before.  One of your LinkedIn friends started a business, or more likely a side project, and lists one of their “jobs” as “Beats By Stu Tiggle” or what have you.  It’s awesome that you have an interest or goal that you are pursuing, and maybe it isn’t quite full-time yet, but you’re working on escaping the rat race.  Good for you.  But dude, you aren’t “CEO” or “President” or some other ludicrous title.  You should change that ASAP to stop looking like such a douche.

CEO’s have boards under them.  They lead corporations.  Even if you’ve established an LLC, you don’t have a board of directors to report to.  By having a self-appointed title like that, the smug self-righteousness you possess is all the more evident, parading around the web for all to see.  Get real, you and your buddy are at best “Owner” or “Founder” or something along those lines.

A friend of mine who owns a bar has a LinkedIn profile.  Rather than make his title “CEO/Director of Business Operations” or “VP of Liquid Delivery,” he keeps it real: “Owner and Janitor.”

If you are guilty of this offense, go change your title to “Owner.”  The rest of the world will immediately take you a little bit more seriously.

-st

PLEASE Stop Having This Conversation at Work

Please0

I work in an office (for now). As does jsg. Between the two of us, we have had (or overheard) this conversation about 10 billion times. And I know what you’re thinking: that’s some hyperbole. It’s not. We counted. Anyway, people, PLEASE STOP HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AT WORK. Every time you have this conversation, everyone loses. Asking someone what they did this weekend is a fine question. Unless they are an asshole, the person asking is presumably interested. Saying “Just took it easy, you know” is the most god damn lame thing you can possibly say. We are at work. The day has already started shittily. Why not tell an interesting story, or at least put a creative spin on the most hackneyed response of all time? Man you suck.

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