Once I pop…

I can’t stop. Won’t stop. Eh eh! (That’s a lot of very esoteric and unrelated references in a very short span…realistically that was just a matter of time for me, though. I’m impressed I held out this long.)

Anyway, here’s another comic based on an unfortunately-accurate exchange I had with a co-worker today:




Congrats on graduating from the University of Education with a Ph.D in Advanced Tautology! And moreover, thanks for applying your education so liberally in the workplace. I’d never thought about it before, but it truly¬†is what it is, isn’t it?

Seriously, stop saying this. Even if I look past the rhetorical construct here, it’s not even like you’re making a valid point — you’re essentially throwing your hands in the air and saying “oh well, sucks to be me.” (Which: I agree, but probably not for the reason you think I do.) Stop couching your complaints in this faux-sagely wisdom — you’re not a Buddhist monk reflecting on your life’s journey, you’re just mad that someone gave you more work to do. Settle down, Siddhartha.



Please Also Stop Having *This* Conversation at Work

Remember ST’s comics from way back when? They were awesome, and today I realized I had my own to add. This one’s for you, ST!





Ahahaha! Ahh, that’s so amazing: you sneezed — probably because it was dusty in the area, or you sit underneath a vent or something — and you took that concept and conflated it with the idea of allergies…and in this case, your allergy was to work! And now you’re going to parlay that into a joke about how you should probably go home?? Ohh man, that is great. That. Is. GREAT. Nevermind that people with actual allergies still have to go to work, and forget about how you apparently never sneeze at home (I mean, you obviously can’t be allergic both to work AND not-work, am I right??) — forget about all of that stuff. If anything, you should leave work because you’re due on stage, Mr. Carlin!!!!!

Seriously though, I’ve yet to hear anyone sneeze more than once and not have this happen — if the sneezer isn’t the one saying it, someone nearby is. Are we just out of original things to say/talk about at work nowadays? Seriously, I’m getting concerned.